You’ve gotten through the first few moments, the drink orders, the self-conscious chit-chat about the weather. An awkward silence ensues. Whether you want to score a second date or can’t wait to beat a hasty exit, here are five things that you should avoid saying at all costs:
- Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.
- That’s my ex sitting over by the bar, but no worries he likes checking out all my dates.
- You remind me of my father/mother. (That first kiss? Forget about it.)
- My job sucks because there’s a guy in my department who is definitely out to get me. It started six months ago. Let me give you ALL the details. (Tip: No one wants to hear about the intricacies of your job issues, especially when they don’t know the players.)
- I love you. (Because A. You can’t love someone you just met. B. It will scare the bejeezus and of them.)
Everyone says dating is numbers game, right? Meet enough people and you’re sure to find The One. But racking up numbers is a sure way to end up with Tinder Burn Out. Here’s how to know when to give it a rest:
- You can’t remember if someone looks familiar because their face keeps popping up in your feed or if you went on a date with them last year
- You are considering a Tinder Date with someone who lives a continent away, because, well, the closer pool is kinda lame
- You check your phone when the cat wakes you up at 3 a.m. and briefly consider answering three randos
- You see your boss on Tinder. And you actually think about it.
- You go on four dates and really like them, but keep swiping anyway because your Tinder-addicted friends have convinced you that courtship is dead. Step away from the phone. Because, seriously, isn’t the whole point to get off it to begin with?
When I first started online dating, I had a deal with a friend. He would call me exactly 20 minutes into each date. If the date was going well, I would answer, “Can we talk later?” If the date was a dud (and trust me there, were plenty!), I would reply, “Her fever his HOW HIGH?” (I had a young child at home.) And then, I would politely – and quickly – race out the door.
My other escape hack: Meeting early evening for a drink and then saying if I was having a great time but had, unfortunately, made dinner plans. My theory: White lies are fine when it comes to dating. Better, after all, than blurting out that you can’t take one more minute of talking about his toy train collection.
So, we’d like to know – What’s your bad date escape plan?
You caught your partner texted with his ex. Should you be worried???
You can’t stop thinking about your ex. Should you give it one last shot?
The ex you thought was out of your life just reappeared. Do you answer?
“The holidays exaggerate whatever you’re feeling — loneliness, regret, desire, nostalgia. It’s almost impossible not to start thinking about an ex,” says Jyst co-founder Emily Listfield. Jyst, Bustle, and relationship expert Laurie Davis Edwards, founder of eFlirt and author of Love @ First Click, partnered to explore the drama with exes during the holidays.
Because ExMas can be year-round problem. Find what other woman and experts advise on Bustle and post your questions on Jyst for more.