How to Deal with Your Ex During the Holidays

You caught your partner texted with his ex. Should you be worried???

You can’t stop thinking about your ex. Should you give it one last shot?

The ex you thought was out of your life just reappeared. Do you answer?

“The holidays exaggerate whatever you’re feeling — loneliness, regret, desire, nostalgia. It’s almost impossible not to start thinking about an ex,” says Jyst co-founder Emily Listfield. JystBustle, and relationship expert Laurie Davis Edwards, founder of eFlirt and author of Love @ First Click, partnered to explore the drama with exes during the holidays.

Because ExMas can be year-round problem. Find what other woman and experts advise on Bustle and post your questions on Jyst for more.

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The Office Romance: Yeah or Nay?

There are certain irrefutable rules when it comes to office romances. Do not date your boss. Do not date anyone who reports to you. The power dynamics, the risk of sexual harassment, the potential law suits, the career-killing opportunities are all self-evident. (We hope.)  Beyond that the rules get murky. No less an authority the Harvard Business Review is a bit muddled by the question.

Screen Shot 2016-06-13 at 10.01.54 AMThe truth is, many of us spend large chunks of our waking hours at work – and meeting romantic partners other ways can be hard. When it comes to love, as in real estate, location is everything. It’s not surprising, then, that so many questions on Jyst have to do with dating co-workers. The risk/reward equation is a toughie: The chance to meet the love your life vs the potential for having to face someone everyday who you dumped/got dumped by. The gossip of co-workers vs the very real desire you feel. Office romances are a minefield, but does that mean you should never wade in? Opinions on Jyst vary.

Have you ever dating someone at work? Share your experience – and advice – on Jyst.

The Jyst List

At Jyst, we are so not about the rules. And we believe the best source comes from other women who have or are going through similar situations – no judgments, all empathy. That said, sometimes it’s worth checking out what the relationship pros have to say. Here are three very different takes on dating and relationship advice. Do you have a favorite Love Guru? Let us know at @ijyst.

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From The Betches: 

I Had a Nice Time and Other Lies: How to Find Love & Shi*t Like That 

By The Betches

The Promise: “In the age of Tinder, Hinge, or any other dating app that matches you with randos, the dating game has grown complex and confusing. Cue the Betches… to help you win the most important battle a betch can face.”

 

From The Dating Coach:Screen Shot 2016-05-16 at 8.55.35 AM

How to Date Like a Grownup

By Lisa Daily

From The Dating Coach:

The Promise: “Lisa Daily can tell you why he didn’t call, the color you should never wear on a first date, and even where to snoop for evidence if you think your guy’s been fooling around.”

 

Screen Shot 2016-05-16 at 9.03.36 AMFrom The Love Geek (i.e. TED Books!)

The Mathematics of Love: Patterns, Proofs, and the Search

By Hannah Fry

The Promise: “In this must-have for anyone who wants to better understand their love life, a mathematician pulls back the curtain and reveals the hidden patterns—from dating sites to divorce, sex to marriage—behind the rituals of love.”

Old Love, New Love, Cheating and Dating

image1-3What happens when you have two savvy writers answer women’s relationship questions on Jyst?

Jyst partnered with HarperCollins’ new book CRUSH: Writers Reflect on Love and the Lasting Power of Their First Celebrity Crush. Here’s the must-have advice from authors Cathy Alter and Dave Singleton:

My bf of 10 months just told me he wants to take a break. He said he doesn’t want to break up tho. What does this mean? Should I date other guys? I love him but so confused. 

– He wants an open door policy with option to walk out. If I were you, I wouldn’t just close the door. I would slam it on his toe.  Cathy

Is it possible to get back with an ex boyfriend (after 10 mon apart) and make it work? I love him. Everything about him. And we’re trying to do this the right way (not move too fast, etc) but I know ppl will say we r making a mistake – my sister already has. Can we mend this when ppl have this view?

– Peaches & Herb sounded good with “Reunited.” It can be good but figure out what went wrong in the first place.  How will it be different? Dave

I’m dating a guy who cheated on me. We’ve been in and off but he promised he is committed and won’t cheat again. Can you trust someone who cheated?

– Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are believe them.” Your boyfriend told you that he’s a cheater. You deserve a lot better.  Cathy

If your boyfriend does something you think he shouldn’t, and it doesn’t directly affect you but when you bring it up it causes an argument, what should you do? Give it up completely, find another way to mention it? (I.e. getting into work later than almost everyone else.)

– I’m guessing what he did bothers you for good reason. Don’t ignore your instinct. The fact it bothers you means it’s worth his consideration.  Dave

If a guy asks you out again at the end of a blind date what do you dd you don’t want to go not don’t want hurry his feelings?

– This has happened to me! Say,”You’re a nice guy but I didn’t feel like we had any romantic spark. I wish you the best.” Better than ghosting! Cathy